It is my lot in life to be surrounded by boys. I am the Queen of my little Familia, then there is my King and my two very cheeky little Princes. So it’s safe to say I am well and truly outnumbered! As a Mum of two boys I have learnt PLENTY of things that I had absolutely no clue about regarding boys – and what a journey it has been so far!
Here are just a handful of things I have discovered in the crazy world of boys…
1. All boys are genetically wired to find farts absolutely hilarious. Without fail. They can’t help it. They are born like that. It drives me insane.
As a child, I was brought up that “passing wind” was not something you did in public. It was embarrassing and rude to let one go around others. Being shy and easily embarrassed I had been known to hold everything in until I was rolling around the floor crying. Then I met my husband. Not one fart gets by him without at least warranting a little giggle. I thought it was just him. Then I gave birth to my first little man. And he could toot with the best of them. And he finds them just as hilarious as his Daddy. Cue the eye rolls and tut tuts from an exasperated Mama who was hoping her son would have better taste in humour. Then my second little guy was born. I have a photo of him when he was 2 hours old with a smirk on his face – yep that was his cheeky fart face. My home is now a symphony of gaseous toots followed by much giggling and hysterics. I’m scared to light a match at night in case my house explodes. My hopes of having a child without the ‘Farts Are Freaking Hilarious’ gene are well and truly dashed.
2. When you have baby boys you must become a Nappy Changing Ninja.
No one told me that the second boys find their hands, they WILL try and grab their bits. Even when it’s covered in sludgy mustard baby poop. They don’t care – they just want to grab it. One minute you are wiping their poopy butt and the next thing you know a chubby baby hand is sneaking a grab! So you become a Nappy Changing Ninja. You juggle legs, wipes, clothes, dirty nappy, clean nappy, the possibility of a pee fountain, and all while blocking little hands from getting anywhere near their bits!
3. Boys want to protect their Mama’s from meanies and badies – they want to be your Superhero.
And they are. My boys are my Superheroes. My eldest son is 5, and from the moment he could assert himself he made it very clear that no one was going to mess with his Mama. I remember once we were visiting a friend who always spoke very loudly and was very animated during our conversations, and to my little man’s eye it looked as though we were having an argument and she was having a go at me – so at 3 years old he jumped in between us and demanded to know why she was yelling at his Mummy and told her to STOP! Although I explained to him that we were just talking I was secretly super proud that my boy stepped in when he thought something wasn’t right.
So far he has taken on the following roles in order to protect us from the ‘Bad Guys’: Jedi, Knight, Ninja Turtle, Super Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, The Hulk, Steve from Minecraft – pretty much any character that has a sword/lightsaber! I feel safe. Especially at the moment because he sleeps with his foam Minecraft Diamond Sword beside his bed, ready to smash any bad guy that dares enter our home!
4. Boys like to talk – A LOT.
We all know the stereotype that men don’t like talking about their feelings etc etc. Well that’s a bunch of CRAP! Yes perhaps as they get older they would rather stab themselves in the eye with a blunt pencil then have a chat with their dear old Mum, but as children – they LOVE to chat, non stop. Until your ears bleed. And it’s pretty freaking awesome.
You see I’m a talker. Not the kind who blabbers non stop to anyone who will listen, but I feel it’s important to keep the lines of communication open with my nearest and dearest at all times to ensure we maintain our friendships/relationships. So when I found out I was to be a Mum of boys, a little part of me thought I’d miss out on little D and M’s like the ones I’d always had with my own Mama. Boy was I wrong! My 5 year old and I have had the most awesome D and M’s. I love listening to what he has to say. He has taught me so much through our conversations together and I enjoy each and every one of them. Even when he is awake at an ungodly hour chatting my ear off about the “Bestest game EVER!”. My favourite chats at the moment – every morning he wakes up and tells me about the dreams he had the night before. They are usually an insight into what is happening in his life and how he feels about things. Sometimes they are just plain wacky! But that’s ok, at least he is still sharing with me.
I’m sure as time goes by and my youngest little man gets older I will learn even more about the ‘World of Boys’, but have to admit – kinda freaking out about the teenage years!
What have your kids taught you?